Bent Antennae
In this horribly tuned instance,
I am absolutely aware of my existence
so small in a world that consumes me from
the inside out.
I am a cricket looking up at the Moon
and realizing she can’t hear me
but my legs, they have to keep moving.
I can’t stay here.
My body needs rest,
and bed means rest,
but for some reason
when ever I set myself on a mattress
my mind strikes like a match
and I can’t sleep with so much light,
showing the outlines
of the fears I have put away.
Crickets can’t count that many degrees
by praying on their knees.
I can’t stay here.
The Moon will wait,
until I get these
bent antennae straight.
_______________________
Cast Away
Epsom salts pepper the brain,
steam unbolts sternum.
Oh, I can breathe again.
Hot water singes
skin waxes silver like the steam,
levying leeches that held onto me,
body shifts, sore from carrying their weight,
muscles relaxing, a fever dream.
Oh, I can breathe again.
I submerge myself farther into the concoction,
closing my eyes, imagining those constructs of dread,
those beady-fanged fears, getting sucked down the drain,
one
by
one
as I drift out to sea,
wading in the flood of me,
waiting for the sun to shine
through the shut-tight clouds,
look at me,
with your golden eyes,
as I drift through the cosmos of herbs that skim my body,
the shrapnel of broken ships.
Oh, I am undone.
________________________
Breathe with me
The wind combs through the canopies,
the globe fills with their cacophony,
exhales fogging the glass of the atmosphere.
The wind,
it pushes down the bowing pines,
who are weary from weathering winters alone,
it snuffs the smoke that intertwines,
mind with body,
matter before and matter after.
Breathe with me,
we are going out to sea,
flying over the mountains majesty,
breathe with me,
kites are dancing with gulls,
two things that make men crave flight,
breathe with me,
the wind is plowing the waves into the sand encrusted ground
curing the air with salt.
Breathe with me,
as your mind fills with times that you had no worries,
and just stared out,
with the wind combing through you.
______________________
Tea
in bone marrow
would be a perfect answer to curing anxiety.
To be infused with calm at the point of breaking,
to fill with healing and not heartache,
would be a marvelous invention,
just like its predecessor,
leaves in hot water.
_____________________
Walk
I walk in the dark
a shadow amongst shadows,
in a world that was built on the crossroads of blinks,
the baited breath before birdsong in the morning,
the best place to think and digest
the fears, the leeched worries, woe,
under the supervision of the Moon,
who watches me wherever I go.
__________________
Exit
Me, The Cricket,
is tired from listening to its mind,
mending the tears in its fretted legs,
cleansing its skin,
ironing out its bent antennae,
voicing their worries that had unbalanced the measure.
Now,
I am able to crawl back into bed,
snuffed,
untethered,
free to fall asleep
to the sun rays and bird chatter
echoing around in my cavernous head.
*
This mini anthology was inspired by the self care practices I have picked up over the years, especially when it comes to anxiety and/or stress, (baths, breathing, walks, and more rest). Please comment below what you like to do when you can’t sleep or when you are stressed. I would love to know!
I am somewhat of a seasoned insomniac, I wish I had some better tips on how to sleep and relieve stress but the only thing I can think of, really, is I find it easier to relax after being surrounded by my friends all day than when I’ve spent the day alone.
It also helps to spend the day DOING something that requires walking around bc as writers we so often only sit and write and that doesn’t help much with ruminating.